Inner Connection

There were a couple of weeks when I wasn’t sure if the ice would ever melt away. Thick blocks of it lined the sidewalks, terrifying me to a comical degree. The mere sight made my body tense and my eyebrows frown.

Oftentimes, I hear people say they wish they lived somewhere where the weather was pleasant throughout the year. And that always generates a strange feeling within me, because that is exactly where I am from. So what am I doing here? Every time I am reminded of it, a cold, uncomfortable, and slimy emotion travels from my forehead down to my throat and stomach. The thought of randomly being so far away from home makes me feel quite sick.

…

Recently, I’ve been preoccupied with situations that demand my full attention in the present moment. No time to reminisce about the past or daydream about the future. Although disorienting, this has been an exciting new feeling for me, as I’ve always found it complicated to stay present for too long. My mind tends to drift, severing itself from my body. I become two parts: my body chasing after my thoughts like a helium balloon that slipped carelessly from someone’s fingers, floating farther away by the second.

Reflecting on this strange, newfound sense of presence, I realize how much of my identity has been built around nostalgia and longing. I’ve often taken comfort in crafting personal narratives that help slow down the overwhelming speed of modern life.

For now, I’ll try not to overthink this moment of clarity. Maybe I can use it for something good. Like meditating for extended periods of time or learning to cook a complex dish.

The best answers often come in quiet moments—when I let go of future anxieties and past regrets, and simply allow myself to be.

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Bringing back my Fixations:

Things that have interested me lately.

1. This track

   It has been helping me stay here and let go.

   Beyond all polarities, I am
   Let the judgments and opinions of the mind
   Be judgments and opinions of the mind
   And you exist behind that

   Ah so, ah so
   It's really time for you to see through
   The absurdity of your own predicament
   You aren't who you thought you were
   You just aren't that person

   And in this very lifetime
   You can know it
   Right now
   The real work you have to do
   Is in the privacy of your own heart

   All of the external forms are lovely
   But the real work
   Is your inner connection

2. The concept of the “Bush soul”

   Many [cultures] assume that a man has a “bush soul” as well as his own, and that this bush soul is incarnate in a wild animal or a tree, with which the human individual has some kind of psychic identity. This is what the distinguished French ethnologist Lucien Lévy-Brühl called a “mystical participation.” He later retracted this term under pressure of adverse criticism, but I believe that his critics were wrong. It is a well-known psychological fact that an individual may have such an unconscious identity with some other person or object.”

   ― C.G. Jung, Man and His Symbols

3. Morning walks

   To no surprise if you’ve read my newsletter before. But truly my daily morning walks save me in unexplainable ways. I’m starting to identify different bird sounds, which is pretty exciting. My favourite is still the red cardinal — sorry to the other birds.

4. This poem by Mary Oliver:

5. Fog

   

6. Falling in Love

   Yeah… That’s what spring is for.

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Talk soon xx